My body and mind used to fight with each other all the time. Now my mind says ‘shut up bitch I got this!!!’ 😂
I had a breakthrough with standing balance poses when I realized that my body is not supposed to be completely still. Oxygen rushes through our lungs, blood runs through our veins, the heart beats tirelessly, a single neuron fires impulses through the body hundreds of times per second…so why should our skin be frozen in space?
Our mind tends to give up when we wobble, as if the anticipation of falling is so great that we just have to beat ourselves to the punch. Then we feel utter frustration towards our body for letting us down. 😁
I find it interesting to question myself, “Why does it bother you so much to stumble?” It’s not like I am afraid of falling; all I have to do is put my other foot down! Yet this rather simple act of accepting help from the floor angers me. I feel vulnerable and my ego takes a shot to the heart. Especially in front of a class full of people!
Growth comes when you fall out, dust your ego off, take a deep breath and start over again–not with frustration but with angry determination. Resist the urge to fall for just one extra second. Press stronger, lift the heart and smile with confidence even as you stumble. Be grateful that your other leg caught you! What if it hadn’t?
As always, yoga tends to parallel my real life, which is full of chaos. Balance is something I am constantly searching for, yet it often slips away as soon as I find it. I get a couple nights of sleep and one of my kids pulls an all-nighter. I have a productive day at work, then come home to a sink full of dishes and a mountain of laundry. I finally get some much needed ME-time, but I feel guilty the entire time and I miss my kids. 😕
There are a lot of factors in life that are completely out of my control. But what I can control is the way I respond to them. I practice balance poses often with no attachment to the outcome. I observe my body and take notes. Was I shakier than usual? Perhaps my body is purging negative energy. Was I angry? Perhaps I have been neglecting my meditative practice. Was I heavy? Perhaps I have been eating foods that are weighing me down.
By silencing my worst critic my mind I am able to listen to what the body is really trying to tell me. Just like in life, if you are constantly searching for that moment of perfect balance you will miss the beauty in the imbalance. These sleepless nights are spent holding a tiny little hand that will be much larger than mine one day. The piles of laundry are from the healthy bodies that frolic through my house. And most importantly, I miss my kids because I LOVE them. ❤️